Hamhunch "the Hexchef"

Halfling / Warlock

Submitted character story

Hamhunch's pact weapon is a frying pan. It glows. He will not explain why it glows. He will not explain how he got it. If you ask him about his patron he changes the subject to what he's making for dinner and honestly the dinner is so good you forget you asked.

He carries a fish on his back that's almost bigger than he is. His shield has a pig painted on it. He wears a chef's hat into combat. Into combat. Our DM asked him once if he wanted to swap it for a helmet and Hamhunch looked at him like he'd suggested something deeply offensive.

His eldritch blast comes out of the pan. He swings it and a bolt of force launches out of it like grease popping off a hot skillet. He calls his hex 'seasoning the target.' He called a banishment spell 'sending it back to the kitchen.' He has never once broken character on the food bit. Not once in two years of play.

The funniest part is he's actually effective. He crits more than anyone at our table and every time he does the DM has to describe a halfling in a chef's hat caving in a demon's skull with a glowing frying pan. We've nearly had to stop sessions because people were laughing too hard to roll.

He joined the party because Gunnar said they needed a cook for the road. That's it. That's why he's on a world saving quest. Somebody needed lunch.